Initiating My Plant Father Phase

aka the one about soil integrity

Like Marvel, I’m in the phase business now and my newest one is “Plant Father Phase.” 

That’s right. It’s all “Welcome to Miley; Hannah Montana is dead” for me because I eff with crepe myrtles now. Yeah.

Have I been singing the sweet song of hydration to a neglected magnolia tree outside our fence and I can sense that we’re on the verge of harmonizing to…